BUSHCRICKETS HAVE LARGE BALLS!

Bushcrickets are the animals with the largest testicles… in relation to body mass – obviously, whilst this fact was found by some scientists in Derby, who probably had a good reason to find this out. There are a number of stupid people out there. So let´s help expose them.

Q: Blake Canning: Could wearing woman´s underwear cause cancer?

A: Blake, I think the large question is why you are wearing woman´s underwear? We understand that your comfort comes first. You have also proven in your question that wearing a thong does not cure stupidity. It is more pertinent that we rather answer your question with a question. NO.

Q: Emanuel Shapiro: Can masturbation cause any damage to my testes with regards to cancer?

A: No, Emanuel. It does cause unwarranted judgement and excellent one-handed-typing skills. Have a blast.

Q: Sir Alex Fobgosh: Will eating fruit help in aiding my avoidance of cancer?

A: We promote any healthy living. Keep the heart strong and an apple a day and all that. I feel you were a bit lazy Alex and that your surname is a little fake, the fact that you have placed your title in the question was a giveaway. Congratulations on the premiership.

Q: John English: Can I get testicular cancer from my telephone?

A: Stop putting your phone near your crotch JOHN.

Q: Berny Irvine: Is it possible that my daschund has testicular cancer?

A: Unless you have got a very unique nickname for your boyfriend, a vet might be the right person to speak to.

Q: Samantha Angelo: My boyfriend keeps asking me to check his testicles for him?

A: Obviously as a considerate partner it is pertinent that you feel your boyfriends´ pears constantly, we recommend thirteen times a day. But if you cautious and caring you could do it more. On a side note Sam´s boyfriend – you´re welcome.

Q: Dan Redsill: Can listening to certain types of music reduce the onset of cancer?

A: No, but answering this question almost certainly causes headaches and the lack of faith in humanity.

These questions and answers that you have read above are all completely fake. No names reflect anyone, or anything. Whilst we are happy at More Balls Than Most to field the questions of the general public. A DOCTOR should be your first port-of-call. This is merely a call to action to GET YOUR TACKLE TESTED, LIVE HEALTHY and be AWARE DOWN THERE.